6 Jul 2007



In the final episode of this landmark series, we come back from the realms of clichéd, post apocalyptic fantasy (crashing house prices, peak oil, etc.) and scare you to death about something that’s really going to change the face of Ireland.


In a thrilling, must-see, make-a-date, thirty minutes of spellbinding TV, Senior RTE News Correspondent, Charlie Bird, musters all the credibility at his disposal to posit the question: what will Ireland be like in a world where the moral authority of those organs of self inflicted intellectual superiority – RTE News and The Irish Times – will be challenged by a generation of informed upstarts intent on spoiling the dopey consensus which has defined Irish current affairs coverage for a generation… by encouraging the people of Ireland to think for themselves.

‘In this brave new world,' Charlie asks, 'will there be no place left for the journo-drama reporting which myself (‘they call it a tsunami, and I’m here in Sri Lanka many, many miles away from where that massive wave struck some months ago…’), George Lee (reports more quarterly ECB interest rate hikes than there are quarters) and Dan O’Gorman (finds more historic moments in a single day in Belfast than the average male thinks about sex) have built careers on?

What will the future be like without such classic moments of third-hand-reporting passed off as insight, such as this one?

The time: late 2001. The scene: lower Manhattan. Acting on a tip, your Senior News Correspondent delivers the following breathless piece-to-camera:

‘I’m standing in a place they call Ground Zero. Just three weeks ago, two of the tallest buildings in the world stood behind me. Now, all that remains of the buildings they called the Twin Towers is a gaping hole – testament to one of the most vicious terrorist attacks in recent months. I’ve travelled all the way to New York to exclusively reveal that the dreadful act of terrorism was… captured on camera. According to a source I spoke to today, eyewitness news footage from the time of the attack was broadcast on TV stations all over the world... in realtime. We are about to share some of the footage with you. But, be warned – you may have seen and heard all of this before…’

But it’s not just me. In a world where bloggers thrive, what will happen to the likes of Joe Duffy? Talk to Joe? Not very likely, when the whole of the M50 is getting automatic alerts from





– websites which cover at least fifty percent of the topics Joe covers in the average year…’

To explore the dark realities of this sinister, parallel cyber universe Charlie actually sets up his own blogspot.

Find out what dark and curious adventures befall our Senior News Correspondent as his launches his very own blogspot: Ouch.ThatFishBitMyBottom.com.


Comments are closed.