12 Mar 2007

No sooner had I hit the ‘publish’ button on the last Dispatch than I received a sharp (!!!) rebuke from The Ledge Murray demanding retractions and apologies for the fact that, although he had won the competition with his witty answer to the question ‘How Sustainable Are You?’ I had printed his submission incorrectly. 

In the last Dispatch, The Ledge’s answer is quoted thus:

‘I’m so sustainable that I’ve decided that washing is a waste of energy.’

Hugh’s submission was actually funnier and should have read:

‘I’m so stainable that I’ve decided that washing is a waste of energy.’

Hugh, all I can say is I humbly apologise that your subtle word play (‘stainable’ sounds a bit like ‘sustainable’, for those of you still confused) went over my head and that this might, eh, ‘tarnish’ your reputation for erudition and wit, etc…  

 … or, you know what Hugh? Maybe not.

Because, no sooner had you left that well known engineer’s office where you apparently told everyone who was prepared to listen of your success in winning the inaugural Dispatch competition (as well as your opinion that the answer as published might have been funnier than the one you proposed), than the snitches (never trust engineers, Hugh, never. They think all architects are gay) giddily emailed me to let me know. 

And then I read your submission again and, d’you know what, Hugh? I’m not sure how good it really was in the first place.  

So this is what I propose. We’ll let the public decide.

Readers, if you’re sending in emails on whatever topic and you happen to have an opinion on the sustainable competition controversy, just preface your remarks with a simple ‘A’ or ‘B’, ‘A’ meaning that you prefer the competition answer as published, ‘B’ meaning that you prefer Hugh’s funny-but-almost-not ‘stainable’ version.

Can’t wait to get this controversy finally off my desk. 

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